The Nostalgic Mind Of A Plus-size Misfit
By Ekene Ephraim–Mgbechikwelu
My Fat Diary,
Each time I open my laptop (the new laptop I might add. I mean I am crazily obsessed with it but anyway this is me deviating) all I do is playing spider solitaire. Lame, right? You have no idea. I had it all perfectly lined in my head. Once I get the new laptop I’d get to work. I would be so motivated that I would think of nothing else.
Akuko! Oshey Spider solitaire and Asphalt 8. The worst part is that I don’t even really like the game. But somehow, I am obsessed with it does that Makes sense? No? ok. Moving on. Eventually, I decided to open my Microsoft word. Bangdadadang! Shit did I just say that? *facepalm*.
You would think that I got some huge inspiration? Nope. I just lost 10 games in a row and even I must admit the game is not my calling. So here we are. Opening it up is not the problem. Ngwanu let us do the dew, still nothing. I spent the past 20 minutes trying to choose a perfectly stylish font. I mean! Eventually, I go with this one (which I might probably end up changing again but oh well! Wetin man go do) and I started to write.
You would think I already have an idea of what I wanted to write yes? No, I do not. I am here going with the flow. Just humour me ok? Please? Thank you. My name is Elene (did you see how this app insulted me just now? They autocorrected my name. as if it was a mistake. If it was a name like Stephanie or something…).
MY FAT DIARY
My name is EKENE. Surname? that’s too long and I get lazy to type it sometimes but I am sure you can make do with this one for now. I am 18 (oh shut up!) and I am dark in…(not the point!). ok, let’s start over. Something real this time.
A while ago my friend suggested I start a fat dairy. Confused? Let me clear you up. She suggested I write a diary about my ordeals as a fat person lol. Does it sound err somehow yes? Just stay with me. She suggested that, after a very annoying day. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and we were always together. That day we were both discussing how much weight I dropped the past few days (I had started some yeye dieting kini) and she was really commending me. I mean we both knew that I didn’t lose anything and was even standing at a local joint to buy Abacha for my troubles.
I felt; like I deserved it and her as supportive as always and was there to jeer me on. Of course, I knew she was thinking mainly about her own stomach but I didn’t care. I really wanted that Abacha too and she was the only person I can food binge with. So, there we were minding our own business when some deluded popinjay a family friend stopped by…
MUNDANE METHODS FOR LOSING FAT
After a very long sermon about how much weight I have added and how I should try out some new mundane method of losing it, I had already lost it! It occurred to me that most times people spend their days trying to analyses different ways to look perfect on the outside without focusing on what is really important…inner peace. (see what I did there? I sounded all buffed and all). Anyways I am glad I got your attention. If you would keep up with me I am sure there are lots of my ordeals you would be able to relate to (even if you’re a size zero!)
Until next time …
keep up reading my mind… Don’t forget to share like and subscribe